More Crackhead Student Quotes

Oy, I've neglected my responsibilities. Here's the last batch from the grading. Some of these really hurt my head. I think we need to work on "critical thinking" as a necessary skill for these kids.

"The Europeans carved up Africa like children choosing the flavors of Jellybeans."

"Although Africa did not have structured military armies, the people of Africa were bonded through Nationalism and fought in rebellions as one." (No armies? There goes my dissertation...)

"The British in Africa really tortured there economy and political structure."

"So if man won't fight then leave to the woman to finish what they started on start what they need to finish."

"Because they watched their King get tooken. So she suggested that she would gather a group of women to fight. Since the mens won't do anything." (Apparently Mario Cantone is writing exams now.)

"The letter [from Menelik II] stated that they didn't want to start a battle or anything because they were a good island and stayed to theirself. They didn't want to be divided into something that they wasn't."

"European powers wanted to break up the [African] unit by colonizing different portions, but the African's strong instinct to fight back didn't allow it."

"Screw history." (Succinct, yet satisfying.)

"They were treated poorly, and even killed to some extent."

"But because the African people were semi poor, they only had little old guns while the British fought with big guns."

"African slave trade was started when Poland initially invaded West African shores."

"Document 5 is a picture showing how the Ethiopians beat the Italians; its a good source because it comes from a museum."

"The Germans thought killing Africans was a luxury." (This student got incredibly angry over this idea. I think the self-righteous ones were my favorites, like those students who take a college class in Women's Studies and suddenly realize that sexism still exists.)

"Africans want to maintain a stable relationship with Europe but to stay out of dangerous affairs."

"This process was called the Scrable for Africa. The African American people were not happy about this decision to interrupt their way of livign and corrupt their way of life."

"Africa could have made some sort of deal with Europe with the help of the Royal Niger Company. Instead of letting Europe take their land, Africa could have divided themselves in half. One half of Africa belongs to Africa, while the other half belongs to Europe. Maybe if the Africans did not have too much fear of the white men, they could have gained back some of their control." (I would advocate for putting this student in charge of the Middle East peace process. I think s/he's onto something.)

"In 1896, Italy attacked Ethiopia, but sadly lost."

"With these actions and reactions in effect, the European alliances went out on Africa and rebeled on their homes and land as well as being patience with their decision and the speeches to stop the Europeans."

"They lured the African nations into their web, and then milked them for everything they had."

"Kumalo says they were 'treated like slaves,' and they became pissed, so the Ndebele Rebellion sparked almost spontaneously, with a lot of rage."

"The Ashanti leader declined the offer and the reason she would know so much about a topic like that is because she is the leader of the kingdom and things like that offer would go to her." (Logic....nice.)

"Europe was a powerful colony. They had the guns, germs and steel to take over whatever colony they pleased."

"However [the Berlin Conference] was unfair to Africa because not one African was allowed at the UN meeting dealing with the division of Africa."

"African countries felt they were destroying their culture, killing their kin and they needed to fight back dispite their inadiquit equipment."

"The Ndebele Rebellion pushed forward against the British in South America in 1896."

"West Africa being more materartical, enjoying the protection of the queen."

"The country of Africa prospered in peace up until 1884-1885. The Berlin Conference brought many European visitors to the country Africa but to the Africans, the Europeans seemed more like invaders than visitors."

"Of course the British are going to want to colonize Africa because they're greedy people and they want all the money, land and natural resources they can get." (It's called "capitalism," honey.)

"In 1886 the Royal Niger Company peacefully invaded West Africa in hopes of improving the country."

"The Africans fought the Europeans with sticks and fire."

"It was probably intended as reverse psychology since men are all proud and would never accept a woman taking charge and join in battle."

"Well, a short distance from the strawberry farm , a man had found a map to the monstrous strawberry. So, men being inferior to cows, he decided to give the map to the strawberry-loving cow."

"During that time frame the holocaust was also happening or at least at the begining of the 1800s."

"It's no surprise to hear this because [Menelik II] is emperor of Ethiopia who is Christian. Christians believe in peace, not violence because it is not what God wants."

"During the age of imperialism the European powers spread around the globe like ants."

"Africa was turned into a smorgasbord of land, Europe scrambled for a piece of the omelet they called the goldmine of Africa."

"One European man discovered a new land. He saw naked women and men running around. All they had was a leaf to cover their breasts and other areas."

"We began this test after 9am."

"An additional doc should come from a soldier who was killed in battle so we would knew what he thought about losing to the Ethiopians." (As a historian, I have to say, communicating with the dead would make life SOOOOOOOOO much simpler.)

Ta-da. Grading finished. Will get back to odd grad school angst in a day or so.